ufufufufu | .inbox

Don't kill Rio-san for not hating you. She wouldn't hate you even if she died, most likely. There'd be point. I can't say it outloud, like that, but Rio-san was my first kiss. ... we passed under the mistletoe, so, we shared a kiss or two. Western custom. She seemed terribly lonely, I think she was trying to forget someone, which is why I said it would've been nice if we could choose the memories we forget. But we can't. Don't bother trying to hurt or scare her. Someone in love with memories doesn't fear death, because they're the composition of ghosts.

Maybe she will hate me if she is suffering. Take her out somewhere and wait for the sun to rise then bash pieces off her stone body and see how together she is at nightfall. Hahahahhaa!

Is that important?
I think my first kiss was with a corpse.
I wondered what death tasted like and thought you could taste the reaper on the fresh, bloodied bodies.
You can't, of course.
Sad!

But I can understand those feelings. For months and months, I talked to Nobunaga-kou. I knew somewhere I was talking to myself but it felt nice. It felt nice to see him every day and set out food for him.

One need only wake her from the dream as violently as I was.

Mitsuhide-san. Stop. STOP. Please. I. Love. Her. Is that what you wanted me to say? I'll say it, to her too, but please stop. I'm sorry your lord turns cruel to you. I really am. He sounds sadistic and cruel and horrible, I don't know how much of that bothers you anymore, or if you love and hate all of it at once, but can you... not kill her? I wonder if you're trying to teach me the same lesson, do you think everyone needs to be punished for not rejecting you? Is it compassion or revenge? Do you fear our acceptance of you or do you resent it? You don't have to do to others what he did to you. You are you. Mitsuhide-san and Tenkai-san, neither of them are lord Nobunaga.

Mitsuhide-san. Stop. STOP. Please. I. Love. Her. Is that what you wanted me to say? I'll say it, to her too, but please stop. I'm sorry your lord turns cruel to you. I really am. He sounds sadistic and cruel and horrible, I don't know how much of that bothers you anymore, or if you love and hate all of it at once, but can you... not kill her? I'm afraid, right now, that death here is not as cheap as I thought. I wonder if you're trying to teach me the same lesson, do you think everyone needs to be punished for not rejecting you? Is it compassion or revenge? Do you fear our acceptance of you or do you resent it? You don't have to do to others what he did to you. You are you. Mitsuhide-san and Tenkai-san, neither of them are lord Nobunaga.

Maybe.
Telling her would be wise.

He is all of those things. I miss him.
Death is very much not something one should throw out so easily.
I throw it out easily because I am in love with it.
The concept, the design, the beautiful red that the soul becomes just before it fades.
I hold the weight in my hands and feel humbled by its beauty.
You held the word like a knife until it turned back on you.

People should be punished for not rejecting me.
You were warned.
I warned you.
So many people warned you.
I can't say what color or shape that it takes.
If it is compassion or revenge against the one who made me this way.
Or revenge against myself for becoming this way.
But it is frightening to be accepted and not seen.

You didn't see or understood what it meant to let me do as I pleased.
To do as I please would mean to ignore your words.
To still kill her.
To still torment her before death.
To laugh in the face of her suffering until what pretty little light that shines in her soul dies for me.
To have you know that it was done without feeling regret or remorse but only a sweet sense of amusement at the color of blood that ran down her face.
Now you know.
Now you understand why I'm afraid.
Is that not right?

Afraid of myself in a way no one else can be afraid of me.

Edited 2017-03-24 03:34 (UTC)

Oh God. I'm so sorry. I didn't understand you at all. I only wanted you to be free, to work out this bloodlust before you have to live behind that mask again, but I I'm sorry for what I've done. I won't ever let you to pursue whatever comes to mind again. No, I would not put myself above others I threaten with the same. If I were to die, that's only to be expected. But I failed to take into account the bonds I've made here... I DO care what happens to them, even if I'm cold. I'm not heartless. Will you accept a compromise? Spare Rio-san and educate me.

I don't think you fully understand me.
But you're close.
Closer than most.
Close without a lesson.
Hahaha.

I will accept an agreement.
I won't kill her.
You will tell her your feelings.
If you let them fester like I let mine fester, it'll warp something inside you.
And you won't know if you hate her for feeling this way, or love her for feeling this way.
Such is the trouble of the heart~
Hahahaha!

I have to protect Kira.
I made that promise to him.
I made that oath to him.
You're learning a lot.
You're humbling yourself a lot before death.
I'm very proud of you.
Very proud.
When we return to being at one another's side, I know that you'll be better for it.
I know it~

Sorry. I didn't mean to suggest I really understood you, not fully. But, I'm glad we're starting to meet. I will tell her, when she confirms her identity. I'll go and contact her. I hope I will be someone you can proudly stand beside. I do not hate death, but it's clear I had a weak understanding of it... in wanting to be unafraid and embracing it and the harshness I thought was necessary, I did not learn to respect death. Making light of death is not loving it, is it? You promised... protect him, then, but when you return to my side, remember you cannot kill any innocents.

[Ugh, Kira. He still can't understand what Mitsuhide sees in him, but that's alright. It doesn't matter. He doesn't have to...]

I am not.
Not really?
I didn't want to show this face at all.
《 ¡ ^ ¡ 》 ▪ ▪ ▪
But it is what it is what it is.
What people say to cope.
I suppose.

Please do.
If you don't, I might have to kill her.
Your feelings can't be lukewarm!
If they are, why should I stay my blade?
Hahahaha.

It isn't no.
I love death a lot but I know how heavy it is.
A comfortable weight for me these days.
People forgot its weight due to revivals and feeding.
At least Susan understood.

No more killing.
Mitsuhide will go to sleep again.
I think he will dream of blood for days to come.
And I can dream of being a human as Tenkai.

Edited 2017-03-24 16:31 (UTC)

It's still you. I won't reject you. It's done. I'm REALLY nervous and that could've been handled better, but... it's done. She's really smart, Miss Susan. I think Tenkai-san has taught me a lot about being human too. Hey, since I've already said it to her, I guess there's no harm in being honest with you too-- even if it's just this one time-- I love you. Mitsuhide-san and Tenkai-san, both.

Edited 2017-03-25 06:39 (UTC)

Even after seeing a little of what lies beneath everything?

I'm very proud of you.
Very proud.
I often tell people I love them, because I feel such love for everyone!
You regret what you don't say.
You regret what you do say.
So why not say it all and be certain something was said!
Hahahaha!

He's not real, you know.
He's just a game to play.
To figure out what it means to be human.
But if he teaches you something, well, I say thank you for having seen something in him at all.

You love me?
You love me??
Well.
Hm.
I love you, too.
Of course, I do.
Of course.

Yes. Even after that. I don't mind. I've fallen in love with people who don't really exist before. I can love an idea. I'm not disappointed in the truth, this time, though. I like the glimpses of you too.

Edited 2017-03-25 08:05 (UTC)

That's funny. I didn't know I could cry from happiness too. That always sounded made-up. I've wanted to hear that. No, that's not it-- I needed it? I definitely needed to hear that.

[... well, at least they're happy tears, this time?]

You're crying?
From happiness?
Because of me?
It's good you heard something good from me.
Perhaps.
But you will hear much nicer things from Rio.

Edited 2017-03-25 20:36 (UTC)

... I am. Just don't tell anyone, okay? Maybe that's true. She's taking a while to reply, though... Is that good or bad?

I won't.
It's surprising.
Very surprising.
I can't say if it's good or bad.

Probably a good-bad.
It means she's taking the feelings and holding them rather than simply catching and letting them drop on the floor.

Have courage.
The world will smile back with you one day.

It hurts. One. Month. Mitsuhide-san. ONE. MONTH. I was one month late. If I confessed one month earlier... Just one month... ONLY ONE MONTH... and two days. I don't want to feel anything anymore.

Shootie.
I don't know what to say to cheer you up.
But you could kill the person she likes, hm?
Or lock them away somewhere until she thinks they vanished and tell her again about your love?
I'd be happy to help in this endeavor.
I don't know what to do for you.
My suggestions are rather extreme.
But I want you happy.
I really want you happy.
An odd confession from someone like me, I'm sure.
But still I do think you precious and deserving happiness.
What can I do?

You what

[He well and truly didn't expect that this time and it earned some laughs through sheer absurdity.]

No, thank you VERY MUCH, Mitsuhide-san, but killing someone's lover to take them yourself isn't exactly encouraged in modern society. And it will just make her angry and resentful and we'll both be broken-hearted. Just one of us is enough... Thank you... at least you're here for me. I appreciate that a lot.

Modern society is lacks a sense of fun.
But I thought that might not make you happy.
I thought it might.
Hahaha.

Anyway, of course, I am always on your side.
Even when I may not seem like I am.

But, Shootie, your heart is still growing.
It has some broken pieces in it and that is good.
This world isn't anymore cruel than any other world.
Perhaps I can say so because I have lived in warring times?
Either way, either way, yes, either way~
This is but a small sharp pain in growing.
In learning.
In being.
In hurting this small way, you will be able to find a better happiness in the future.
I believe that.
Indeed, I do.

I hope you do as well~

It WAS a joke? Good, that makes me feel better for laughing at it. It did, as a joke. It's funny as long as it doesn't happen. That means a lot, Mitsuhide-san. Your love is reliable. I'm sorry for being so affected by this, you really have been through things worse than I have. It's not a big deal, even though it feels like it is... This makes me more grown-up? More like an adult? I'll appreciate this pain, then. Maybe I'll meet with her again, so I can capture it, so I won't forget this feeling. Mitsuhide-san? When you're done, would you like to spar? Maybe you could teach me more ways to fight too. I want to be strong.

I'm glad that you are capable of laughing.
That is a good sign. A very good sign!

Shall I say thank you?
It seems like I'm getting a lot of praise lately.
I'm not sure what to do with it.
So let's leave it where it is.

No.
It's your first love.
First loves are always difficult.
And they do not always have happy endings, unfortunately.
But it merely means that a happy ending is awaiting you!
Yes, it's good to capture onto those feelings.
It's good to not close your heart off because of one unfortunate sharp pain.
The heart is a terrible thing.
But it should always be open and ready to smile at the world.
The world has too many frowns, don't you think??

Spar?
That's fine.
That's fine.
I was teaching Kingo how to fight, too.
Kingo never liked it much.
But that's fine.
Don't think being strong means to kill, though~
Don't think being strong means to be good at killing~
I consider myself, indeed I consider myself, a very fragile person.
Hahaha!

This is my second love, actually. But the first I've pursued, so it feels like the first, doesn't it? I love battles, I love strategy, and I love winning, but more than that, I love what can be learned in a battle, whether it's my win or not. Trainers come to know each other through battling! I know, Mitsuhide-san. I don't love killing. But it's good to know how for when you need it, right? I'd hate to be caught weak and helpless; that's the worst. To protect yourself and others, strength is necessary. This, too, is a point of pride. Our battles are bloodless and do not lead to death. A serious injury is very rare, the goal is not to kill, but sport! I look forward to it.

Yes, that's right.
We talked about that when we first spoke, didn't we?
I'm happy that you pursued this love.
Even if it didn't end well, I'm happy you pursued it.

I'm not sure if it's something to look forward to~
But I'm happy to teach you what I know.
If there is one person in this world who knows battles, it is me.
Because battles love me, too.

Take care of yourself until we meet again, all right?
All right?
You still are very precious to me even if I have been being tough on you.

We did, didn't we? It's strange, I don't normally tell anyone about these things. I'm starting to think that love and this love are different... I'll look forward to it anyway. I will try. I

[A very long pause between replies, then:]

I think I love you the most out of anyone here You're very precious Thank you.

(no subject)

ufufufufu - 2017-03-28 13:18 (UTC) - Expand

.inbox

<ghostprince>

< mitsuhide >

<ghostprince> [not taking things so well!]

<ghostprince> [in which he says maybe too mich]

< mitsuhide > (tough love is rough)

<ghostprince>

< mitsuhide >

<ghostprince>

no subject

[-facepalm- this child...]

no subject

[1/2]

[2/2; he is 100% fulfilled, that's it, all he wanted from the world, he can now die happy!]

[ ;A; don't die at all! ]

[we'll see!]

[ shootie's life continues to be difficult 'cause the lunatics he houses ]

[he got his heart broken ^^;;;;;;;; ]

[ i had such hope that it would end well ... nooo ]

Re: [ i had such hope that it would end well ... nooo ]

no subject

[usually he'd stay down a lot longer, but look at all this support he's getting ;3;]

[ his deranged deer-mom is here to support; one can't stay down in these times! ]

[he loves his deranged deer-mom]

[ now for some added pain for when he finds out about hospital stay :( ]

[ow.]

(no subject)

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, MITSUHIDE AKECHI. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 011.27.954.55 * USER has joined 011.27.954.55 <AUTOMATIC RESPONSE, DO NOT RETURN>** Yes? Yes. This is our channel. Him and me. Who are you looking for? Perhaps a third face? :) No, no. Probably not. Okay. I will wait. I humbly apologize. That was confusing, was it not? That man and me share this channel. It would be draining otherwise. If you are in need of Tenkai, please let me know. If you are calling him, I wonder if that is wise? Hahaha.