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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, MITSUHIDE AKECHI. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 011.27.954.55 * USER has joined 011.27.954.55 <AUTOMATIC RESPONSE, DO NOT RETURN>** Yes? Yes. This is our channel. Him and me. Who are you looking for? Perhaps a third face? :) No, no. Probably not. Okay. I will wait. I humbly apologize. That was confusing, was it not? That man and me share this channel. It would be draining otherwise. If you are in need of Tenkai, please let me know. If you are calling him, I wonder if that is wise? Hahaha.

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Oh...
It is true I miss him.
It is true I would love to hear his voice.
It is true I would adore it if he acknowledged and called my name.

But at the same time, at the same time, I made a decision back home to not be at his side.
I couldn't uphold it while I was here.

Last year, yes, I grew too desperate and lost and frightened without him.
Indeed, I spoke to an imagined idea of him for months and months on end.
Indeed, it gave me comfort to do so.

But now I am feeling a little more whole.
Captivity gifted me some insight instead of drove me closer to another breaking point.

It's a difficult thing to say, Shootie, about what I would do.
But it would not be an easy decision in any case.
In any case, it would not be easy.

... I hope that day doesn't come to you, while you are here. It sounds terribly difficult. But, if it saves you, you can return to him. If he is that important to you... It also would not be wise, if he is strong and so cruel, to earn his enmity.

... I know no one could possibly compete with your lord, but do you love me for me or am I a substitute for Kingo? You don't have to answer that. I knew Rio-san missed another boy back then. She even said I reminded her of him, a little..

[Terribly insecure, this one.]

It is for your sake, as well.
My lord is someone that would ask me why I would take so long to return to him, if he knew I was here and I did not immediately make myself known.
His comment may end up being along the lines of ... what do I need more in my life than him?

Indeed, I talk a lot about him.
Indeed, I talk fondly about him to everyone I am able to squeal happily about him.
But our relationship is complicated.
Terribly complicated.
More so than I like to admit.
It's easiest to focus on the good of our loved ones.
Much easier and much more fun.

And you know me ... I do not like doing anything that isn't fun if I can avoid it.

[ How long as Shootie worried about this? ]

I am going to answer it.
It seems I am being misunderstood so I must answer.
I do love you for you.

Kingo is completely different from you.

The only similarities that you have is that you saved me when I was without anyone just as Kingo saved me. But even that... Kingo did so without knowing who I was; you knew who I was.
He did it completely out of the goodness of his heart, and because I looked like someone who needed help. I'm not saying that you do not have such goodness in yours, but I don't think that is all you thought when you came for me.

Kingo also sees in me someone who will protect him from all things in the world, too. You are not so naive nor so soft a person to be frightened of the world, yes? Even with this trouble with Paul, I know that you will once more find means to reach out to touch the world, again.
Perhaps far more cautious, but you will do so. That is the faith I have in you.

There is no substitute for Kingo and there is no substitute for you.

A satisfactory answer. We are very different and loved for different reasons too... that's all I needed to know. Thank you.

Edited 2017-04-09 08:59 (UTC)

I never know what to do about being thanked.
Hm.
You're welcome.
Yes, that'll do.

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< mitsuhide > [2/2]

<ghostprince> [1/2; ... why this subject choice, sheesh]

<ghostprince> [2/2; aaand jealousy]

< mitsuhide > [1/2]

< mitsuhide > [2/2; ;A; ]

<ghostprince> [it's okay!!! - he's just a jealous person by nature ^^;]

< mitsuhide > [ ;A; it's okay, shootie ]